And She Lived…











{September 23, 2008}   Crazy Babysitter, Makes For One Crazy Mom

“I know he won’t come to me”    and    “He doesn’t like me anyway”

Read those two statements above and think about them. They don’t sound good do they? Now imagine them being said by the person you have entrusted your 2 year old child to. And yes they are in regard to that precious child of yours. Makes the statements sound even worse don’t they?

I heard those statements in exactly that context yesterday. (insert huge sigh here) Because I wasn’t feeling well I had the babysitter come get Meechi for a couple of hours. Normally she watches him in our home because he is comfortable here and I felt better doing the “nanny” thing instead of taking him to a daycare. I don’t so much feel better now though! Anyway… she lives a few doors down from us so I asked if she could take him to her place for a couple of hours so I could get some rest. She came over to get him and of course he didn’t want to leave me so I had to pick him up hand him over to her. As I did she said, “I know he won’t come to me”. That didn’t really sit right with me but I was tired and sick and thought maybe I was making too much of it.

A couple of hours later she brought him home as planned. As she was leaving I told him to say goodbye to her which he didn’t do. He usually doesn’t say goodbye to anyone until after they are already out of the door. It’s just his way. Well, as she is going out and shutting the door she says “he doesn’t like me anyway”. Now that one really bothered me. First of all, he’s two. There are times he doesn’t seem to like me. That’s the way 2 year olds are. Second, why on earth would you say that to someone who is paying you to watch their child? 3rd, 4th, 5th and so on….   if he doesn’t like her, maybe there’s a reason. Shouldn’t I be concerned if he really doesn’t like her? Shouldn’t I be concerned that she has this whole “he doesn’t like me anyway” attitude instead of maybe, oh i don’t know, actually doing something to make him like her such as playing with him. Really, that’s all it takes to get this kid to like you. Play with him for 10 minutes… you’re his new best friend. I could go on and on with all the things that statement got me thinking. It’s disturbing.

I’ve been concerned that I believe all she is doing all day is letting him watch movies all day long. I come home and there is always one movie on in his room (and the dvd player is set on repeat) and another movie on in the living room (also on repeat). I’d say that’s a pretty good sign that there are movies going all day and if it’s on, he’s usually watching it.

Then there is the issue with lunch. I buy a variety of things for him to eat for lunch and yet we run out of one thing before the other stuff gets touched. It’s the easiest thing to make. So, is she being totally lazy and making him the same thing every day because it’s quick and easy to make? Or does she just think he really likes it and wants it everyday? Oh! and we also are going through snacks like freaking crazy. Is she letting him eat tons of snack all day long? Is she eating a lot of it herself? I don’t care if she has snacks here, that’s fine. But let’s not tear through a whole bag of chips in 2 days! A 2 yo and a 19yo don’t need to eat that much crap in a short time. Not at all.

And now for the real kicker. What happened to that $20 my 12yo son had in his wallet??? He went to get his money the other day so he could buy something and the 20 he got for his b-day was gone. I know I didn’t take it. I know his step dad didn’t take it. I believe his sister when she says she didn’t take it. I know the baby didn’t take it. Who does that leave? Who else had access to that wallet? That wallet that was left sitting on the TV in the boys room? The same Tv that plays movies all day long?

I hate this. I don’t want to work. I want to be home with my son. I don’t want to have someone come into my home that has no respect for us. Someone who doesn’t have the baby’s best interest at heart. I don’t want to have to send him to daycare either. I hate this.

I HATE IT! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!

Is it possible to make yourself sick? I don’t mean like an upset stomach or headache, because I know you can do that. I mean can your mental state knock down your immunity enough to cause you to get strep? Am I getting sick often because I don’t WANT to work. Am I making myself sick so I can be home???

Speaking of work… they want a doctor’s note for me missing work the last 2 days. Seriously? A doctor’s note? You’re a freaking ice cream shop for F’s sake! I had a real job for 3 years and they never once asked for a doctor’s note. A real job! Not some crappy little ice cream shop that the only requirement to work there is the ability to fill out an application and to be breathing! Not some stupid little job I only took because I only want to work part time and don’t want to stress myself out. Not some job that if I walked away from I could have another just like within three days. How do you people take yourselves so serious? You make freaking shakes all day long. You don’t save lives. You don’t build airplanes. You don’t make decisions that affect the world. You make freaking shakes!!!!

okay, I know having to get a doctor’s note is really not that big of a deal. I am really sick afterall. Not faking. Please! I am not one of your 16yo employees trying to play hooky. Give me a break. It is the principle of the thing here. Asking me for a doctor’s note is like saying to me that you think I am lying about being sick. Give me a break! I am a grown up for pete’s sake. Right now I hate the idea of leaving my baby with the crazy babysitter so much that I am ready to go shove a doctor’s note up their A$$!!!!!!

The topping on the whole this situation sucks sundae???? the babysitter is my nephew’s fiance!!!! How is that for a kick in the face?!?

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Sheila says:

Ugh, I am agonizing with you! A situation like that pulls on every mother’s heartstrings!

Stealing money is a slap in the face, but neglecting the baby – that’s a sucker-punch-knock-out.

Hmm, I am of 2 minds about her. I was only 19 when I was my nephew’s nanny, and I was a darn good one. However, If I had a small child right now, I don’t think I would let me nephew’s wife watch it – she is 20 and I could see her reacting like your babysitter. Gives me shivers just thinking about it!



kimmie says:

crap.

OK. SO does working at the ice cream shop actually make it worth while (profit/money) when you have to pay a sitter especially when you hate it and Meechi isn’t getting the care you want him to?

Yes. I think you can make yourself sick by being stressed. It HAS to wear down your immune system and then you pick up all kinds of ick.

(((HUGS)))



I think it’s time to find a new babysitter. I don’t think it will be too much of a crisis just point out to her what she said to you. If he doesn’t come and he doesn’t like her then why put them both through being together? All toddlers go through the I don’t like you stage. Mine says that to me when doesn’t want to do something but if the tone says more to you, go with the gut feeling and find someone else. You’re not happy, Meech isn’t happy, and I’d let her go.

I’m not surprised about the doctor’s note. I”m not sure what else is in you area but if there’s some other retail store you’d be interested in start looking around again. Can’t hurt.



Chel says:

Oh, you poor thing. It’s so hard to leave our babies. I’d suggest at this point that a new sitter is a good idea. Mamas have to trust their gut reactions… they are what make us mamas and not daddies (you know, no offense to daddies).

I’ve always had to work for financial reasons, so both of my kids were always in daycare. People had initially asked if we were going to have a nanny, but I always liked the daycare option. I’m a believer in safety in numbers… if my kids are in a room with other kids that’s being taped every day, then I’m pretty sure if something happens, I’m going to know about it. 🙂

Hang in there.



DebMomOf3 says:

Oh Kim! It sounds like the babysitter’s definitely trying to take advantage – maybe because she is family? In any case, you’ve got some extremely valid concerns and I’d be worried too. This is your child, after all! Oh and the money thing would have ticked me off too.

I know how you feel about wanting to be home and not wanting to send him to daycare. I felt like that for so long – and probably will again when I go back to work at some point. I’d go with your gut and find someone else to babysit though – family connection or not, your child is what’s the most important. Good luck…



I couldn’t imagine what that must feel like. I was blessed to be able to be a stay at home mom for my children.It was a struggle financially,but well worth it in the end.Are things getting better with the sitter now? I sure hope!



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